Want more support with letting go? check out Cheryl's How To Let Go Of The Past Training click here
Today we're talking about forgiveness and how it is that you can really let go of the things that are burdening you in your life. Over the course of my journey, as you all know I have this journey that I've been on where I'm learning of these new things, and I love to share them with you to help you become empowered in your own lives, so that you can really begin to feel happy and confident and like you're in control of your own life. In order to feel all of those things, forgiveness is something that we all have to work through in our lives. The things is, is that forgiveness is, when we talk about forgiveness, it sounds a whole lot easier than it is. You know what I'm talking about, right? You want to let go. You want to just leave that stuff in the past, but every time you try, it's hard to do that.
Today I just want to talk about some of the lessons that I've learned, and hopefully they can be helpful for you in learning how to really release that pain that you're feeling, release the anger, release the resentment, release all of that that is holding you back in your life, from past events that have been harmful and hurtful to you. The first thing about forgiveness that I want to talk to you about is that something that happens within you. Forgiveness is really not something that you have to go and speak to the other person about, or the other people if there's more than one person involved. It's really starting within you. What I've found is that in order for me to really let go and forgive and move on from situations that have been harmful to me and hurtful to me in my past, I've had to first really feel whatever it was that I needed to feel.
For example, we all have situations in our lives where we have felt angry, where somebody has hurt us, a situation has happened where we have felt very angry. In order to move past that, the first step is to feel that anger. Even if this happened twenty years ago, thirty years ago, whether it happened last week or it happened today, you have to take the time to feel whatever emotion it is that we're having from the event that occurred whenever it occurred. If it was twenty years ago, and we haven't taken the time to really feel the anger that we feel, that is the first step. Take some time to really dig into that anger and allow ourselves to feel it. That can mean writing about it, writing about why we're angry, writing about what that anger feels like, writing about who hurt us, who made us angry, what made us angry. Just get it all out. Get it all out and allow yourself to feel it.
This is uncomfortable. I'm not going to lie. Especially if it's something that happened long ago. It's an uncomfortable thing to go back there and really feel all of that again, but I'm telling you, if we can do that, if we can allow ourselves to really feel, then that's how we begin to let go of it. Okay, so if you haven't taken the time to really feel it, feel it. That's the first step.
The next thing to do when we're looking at forgiveness is to think about what were the lessons that maybe we learned through this situation? What was the good that came from it? This is a hard step. They're all hard steps. They really are. With forgiveness it's one of those things that we do for ourselves, and it's a difficult process. Feeling it, figuring out what is it that I learned from this, what good came from it. Then realizing that it's a work in progress. To forgive is something that, you might feel like, okay, well, I've gotten over that, I've forgiven that person. Then something comes up in your life and it triggers it again. It's a consistent thing where you have to go through the process consistently.
I can remember the first time I kind of wrapped my head around forgiveness. I had this question and I felt like, well if I forgive them, does that mean that it's okay? That what they did is okay? It absolutely doesn't mean that. What it means is that you're going to release yourself from holding on to it, and you're going to release the other person. Have you ever heard that saying? I love this saying. When I'm going through a really difficult time in my life, where I know I need to work on forgiveness because that's going to allow me to be free and allow me to have peace in my life, I hang this quote where I can see it every single day, "hanging onto anger is like drinking person and expecting the other person to die." Hanging on to anger that we have with them and that we have, any of those negative feelings that we have in our lives around events that have happened to us, or around us that we haven't let go of, it is eating us up inside.
You know what I'm talking about. For me, I start get physical symptoms. My stomach starts to really hurt. I start to carry a lot of tension up in my neck. A lot of that has to do with me hanging on to anger and not releasing the emotions that I'm feeling and not releasing myself and the other person from the things that have happened in my life. If you think about some of the physical ailments that are happening to you, maybe its headaches, maybe its stomach pain, maybe its shoulder pain, maybe its back pain, whatever it is, think about what is it, who are you still angry at? What situation are you still angry at? What haven't you been able to let go?
Remember that forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness is for you to have peace in your life, to say, "That happened, that wasn't fun, that was hurtful, that made me sad, that all of these things, but it happened. Now am I going to continue to allow it to drag me down in my life? Am I going to continue to allow that situation to affect me in a negative way in my life? Or am I going to say, 'It happened. I forgive, and I move on.'" It doesn't mean it's okay what happened. It means you are no longer going to let it drag you down in your life.
I hope that's helpful, that's a really quick forgiveness bit. It's first steps. The link below I do have a "How to let go of your past" mini-course that you can look at. If you want more information about how to really move through forgiving and letting go and releasing the pain of your past. Thanks for being here today. Until I see you next week, connect authentically, love unconditionally and trustfully.
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